Welcome to the Real Reason Behind the Posts….
This name of this page I will explain later on, however I feel there is something else that I need to address first. Lately I have been stumbling across many people through electronic community who have great problems like myself. For them, the medium of a blog (be they professionals or everyday folk like me) is the way to express themselves and sort through all the rubbish, like an online therapy session. This is my reason too; it’s now become a necessary part of my own mental health. The way I have coped is no longer enough to get me where I feel I need to go, so this page starts its rather auspicious beginnings as my whinge fest!
This page by far has been the hardest to begin, I’ve put it off and off by cleverly designed tactics I’ve been making up so that I can justify building an entire website. Setting up the pages, picking out pretty colours and fonts, studying html, reading other people’s blogs so as to steal ideas, and following webpage designers into their homes and threatening to harm their children if they didn’t cooperate with me and tell me all their secrets (there’s really nothing I won’t do to get ahead). However, the entire reason behind doing this in the first place was for me to discuss becoming a Diabetic, and living with Type 1 Diabetes…. and all its subsequent complications & that’s where the nasty bit starts.
I realised that it’s not writing about it that is most difficult, it’s making it public. I’ve learned to keep things secret over the years as I’ve lost friends over this & if I have then other people dealing with a chronic illness have as well. Anyone who says that they weren’t my friends in the first place can quite simply go and jump. You lose friends over something even trivial and see how you feel. You face the lonely journey through life without good friends and get the taste of isolation. I am who I am, so have never really changed myself to make other people feel ‘more comfortable’ but when it comes to Diabetes, that is something I cannot change. I think the worst thing anybody has ever said to me on that subject is ‘You have Diabetes? Well that’s easy nowadays, you just have a few injections a day and that’s it isn’t it?’. I had to be physically restrained from launching myself at their throat, and that’s pretty difficult as I’m about 6 feet. I got them in the end though, spending nearly 3 minutes on the throat area, and several more on vigorous kicking.
I am fairly unapologetic now about my life and how I live it but at the time words like that really hurt. I wanted understanding and someone to say ‘it’s not your fault’. Maybe I should tell myself instead.
So Starteth the Saga…