Mr Frog


At our property in Qld I had a bathroom in the stables, except that I had to share it with a beautiful green tree frog as big as my fist who lived in the toilet. He was perfectly happy there, because the toilet got its water from the rainwater tank, so it was as close to the frog’s natural environment as possible, and anyway we just didn’t have the heart to move him. The usual procedure was to find the frog before you sat down, wet your hands to protect his skin and carefully place him in the bathroom sink. One day my father came into the shed after a few beers and working out in the sun planting some much needed trees in one of the paddocks. He proceeded to the toilet, but all of a sudden I heard him swear, and suddenly bolt out of the bathroom at a rate of knots, muttering under his breath with his pants in one hand as he desperately tried to keep them from falling down around his ankles. I stood there wondering what the heck was going on, until I caught his words, and I heard him say ‘frog’ ‘flushed toilet’ ‘lost’ and then I caught on. I quickly ran with him around the back of the shed, until we came to the grate where the water was, only to see my father snatch it up and start frantically searching with one hand. Finally, he pulled out a rather startled-looking frog, and breathlessly said;

‘I forgot the little sod was in the toilet and flushed him!’


The Rat and the Carpet Snake – The Classic Children’s Tale

On our property in Toowoomba, Qld, I used to keep my horses’ feed in 44 gallon drums to keep it away from the rats that frequented the shed. Usually, the 6-foot carpet snake that lived in the shed would be found curled up like a great ship’s rope, except every couple of weeks there’d be a rat-shaped bulge right in the middle, and the snake would be asleep digesting it’s meal behind the stables.

On this occasion, it was winter, and about 3 degrees Celsius in the morning when I went to school. Mum would usually take me in the car, as there wasn’t any transport as far out of Toowoomba as we lived. Mum and I got into the car, and immediately heard a strange noise coming from the engine.


Ok I have to stop the the story here for a moment. Perhaps you’re wondering what a picture of some butterflies hovering over some hearts could possibly have to do with this post? Well I used to have a photo of a lovely carpet snake here, but Wanderingsoul2015 (see comment below) had some objections, so I’ve substituted this happy little artwork here instead. If you wish to view the correct photo, please contact me (Emily) at and I will be more than happy to send it to you. Now if someone (not saying who) doesn’t mind, back to the story…

I looked at my mother, a little bit alarmed. ‘What could that be?’ I asked.

‘I’m not sure, but it doesn’t sound too good’ said Mum, ‘I’ll stop at a service station and ask them to take a look’.

We continued on our way, and eventually found a service station that was attended (remember those anyone?).

We drove in and Mum asked the mechanic ‘Would you mind taking a look at the engine? I think there’s something wrong’.

‘Certainly’ came the reply, as the mechanic popped the bonnet and prepared to look into the engine bay.

There was a moment’s silence, until a strangely muffled voice said ‘What the bloody hell?’, and the man came to the driver’s side window, a decidedly green colour.

‘There’s bits of rat all over the place!’ he exclaimed.

We thought for a minute, then realised that in winter the rats would sleep on the car battery for warmth, and one had failed to wake up in time that morning, and had lost it’s life to the fan.

And so to the business end of the post. This is in response to Writing 101’s Day 6 (yes, I’m slightly behind I know) assignment, adding a multiple choice poll for you, my devoted fans, to use. Apparently we have to collect ideas from you dearest readers, although by logic I should think you’d want to keep them for yourself, don’t you? Perhaps you could take this opportunity to tell me what you really think of me!


Let’s have some fun

I’ve been quite serious lately, and that’s not usually how I relate to people as I can be extremely silly at times, and I hope I find the humour in every situation for the rest of my life. In that spirit, I’d like to share a few stories with you (I heard the collective groan there!).

I was travelling along with my parents in our car, on what can only be described as a large road along a straight stretch in the middle of Queensland. A dusty plane lay before us, with nothing to draw the eye except the sour green of the cactus pears, when we caught site of a house. The silence stretched out but no-one had anything to say. Nothing was out of the ordinary, until we spotted a sign in front of the property, on which was written;

Hot Chips and Budgies $8

bertie-1481321 (1)

My father suddenly exclaimed ‘Wow, what a deal!’


I’m suffering from a crisis of self-worth for the very first time in my life and I don’t like it one bit. I’m second, third and fourth guessing everything I write and can’t seem to post the way I wanted to when I first started this blog. I had every intention to write humorous stories about some of the incidences in my life and instead I’ve been writing sad, depressing stories about me having diabetes. I don’t take myself seriously but lately, how I feel about me has changed. So what happened to change me?

Recently I was trashed on Facebook, and it was the very first time I’ve ever had someone do that to me on the Internet.  Some people might say ‘So what? I get trolled 6 times a day!’. Good for you, but for me it was devastating. My immediate reaction was hurt, then fury, a desire to maim, and back to hurt. Why have I taken this so seriously? I know deep down that what other people think about me has nothing to do with my perception of myself but this has really dented me. She doesn’t know me; I don’t know her so why has this affected me so badly? I know I’m not alone here because social media has changed the way we view and interact with others. I haven’t gone back to Facebook for weeks… which is probably a good thing.  Don’t try this at home kids, it might get interesting.

The Quiz

So how do I know how damaged my self-esteem is by an online quiz ( sounded like a good idea at the time). Unfortunately, the first one froze on me and I immediately assumed it didn’t like me. I’ll get back to that one later because to convince it otherwise. I’ll wait for you BeliefNet!

Next quiz came from Netdoctor which sounds professional, but don’t get too excited yet. It returned the following result:

You have scored 62. (Out of what exactly? I assume 100 but you just don’t know)

What your scoring means

You have quite good self-esteem on the whole (No I don’t. Trust me). But you sometimes fail to believe in yourself enough. (I believe in me, it’s just everyone else that has their doubts). Remember you are a special and unique person (Of course I am, I’m so unique they broke the mould after I was made. That’s because it had diabetes and they wanted to put it out of it’s misery). Many people with your score feel confident in what they do for a living and get a lot of affirmation from that. (Sorry I don’t work, and anyway, it isn’t what I do that gives myself affirmation, it’s supposed to be who I am that does that. Tsk tsk self-worth quiz). It’s important however, to feel good about who you are, not just about what you do. (I do feel good about who I am, er I think I do?) Have a think about this. (Have a think about what in particular? Is there some great truth in this where I simply haven’t picked up the context yet?)

Good heavens, what a load of rubbish! A very simplistic question and multiple choice answer system that really needs to take a bloody good look at itself, and if it doesn’t like the criticism too bad.

On to the next quiz from psychtest and this one was touted as a scientifically viable so it had better impress me with chocolate and flowers. Fair warning psychtest.

Overall Score is 60

Your results indicate that you have relatively high self-esteem (Relatively speaking of course). You recognize your inner value and it shows in your personal life, relationships and career/school success (True, I always like to tell people about my inner value). You exude confidence, and believe enough in yourself to pursue things whole-heartedly. (My pursuits extend to eating and sleeping at the moment). Such a healthy self-esteem likely allows you to handle stress effectively and maintain an overall sense of well-being (Are you serious? I’m so stressed out I can’t think straight). You should value and nurture this quality…it will take you far in life. (Sure, how I feel about myself will get me far away from life with chronic illness, look at me go).

Ten questions and it thinks it knows me? This is supposed to be a scientific test from reputable people. I could have a 5 minute chat with someone and they could find out more than this test did.

On to and this looks more positive. This time there’s a whopping 34 questions (!) which is a bit more comprehensive than the last 2 tests. Some of the questions I had already answered in the Psychtest quiz, but that was fine because I’m at heart essentially a lazy person.

Your score is 69 (Now I’m getting slightly worried, does this mean the tests have been accurate? I’m staggered that this kind of pop psychology could be right).

You generally don’t concern yourself too much about being rejected by others, although it does cross your mind from time to time. (That’s true, people can like or not like me and I’m not too worried because I know what they’re missing out on). However, you don’t really seem to be the type to bend over backwards in order to get and keep other people’s approval – at least not too often. (I’m not and I said I’m not, weren’t you paying attention?) Rejection by the people in your life may very well hurt you and may be something you have experienced before, but you try not to let it affect how you feel about yourself. (Who’s rejecting me and what did they say about me?) Although you likely know this, the only approval you should be worried about is your own. (No, go on, say you enjoyed me being at your website) Moreover, when you respect and approve of yourself, you are more likely to project an image to others that says “I am worthy, and I am have much to offer to someone.” (What was that last bit? Pretty bad mistake on a quiz that’s collecting data. Did I mention the data collecting?)

Tell me you love me (I mean literally)

Now to give myself the love that I clearly need and get some advice.  Hmmm how about some quotes to keep me going?


The great thing in the world is not so much to seek happiness as to earn peace and self-respect.

Thomas Huxley

(What is wrong with happiness? It makes me happy to be happy. And who’s this Thomas Huxley when he’s at home anyway? I only follow celebrities because they just get it right all the time).

Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They’re no good at all.

Kurt Cobain

(Listen to Kurt, he knows what he’s talking about. This man didn’t just take drugs, the drugs had him. What? He’s dead, he can’t hear me).


Cutting people out of my life, does not mean I hate them, it simply means I respect me.

(Now that’s better, that person knows what they’re talking about. Pity that I have absolutely no idea who they are).

What does it all mean?

Self-esteem must come from within us so that we grow and nourish ourselves. It’s dangerous to rely on other people to make us feel good about ourselves, for you will always be disappointed and hurt as people seldom live up to our expectations. It’s easy to accept pats on the back from other people but when they’re not there, you’re left to wilt and slowly starve emotionally. It’s not healthy to rely on anyone for boosts to your self-worth but you know you can rely on you. I’m happy that my image of myself hasn’t changed and it speaks highly of my mother, who obviously built a solid groundwork for me to grow upon. Self-esteem and confidence aren’t to be confused with selfishness, to which the person thinks only of themselves and their own needs, and hardly cares for anyone else’s opinions, wants or needs.

It seems although the person got what they wanted at the time by trashing my profile on Facebook they didn’t actually win in the long run. My core values and beliefs are intact, but as a long time internet user I’m shocked this hasn’t happened before to me. When did we get comfortable with this lack of respect for other people? What makes it right to treat other people badly just because they’re behind the anonymity of a computer screen? Threatened violence towards people on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other social media seems to becoming the norm, as if it didn’t matter. People believe they can get away treating others in a truly despicable manner when they wouldn’t dare say these things face to face. They should be accountable; however, police don’t seem to know how to cope with online bullying altogether because the laws aren’t in place to effect the more serious offenders. It’s up to us as individuals to reject the idea that saying that threats, trolling, online bullying, and this is all just as unacceptable as it would be to their face. If you’re tempted to attack someone for a comment put yourself in a real life situation and ask yourself ‘Would I say this to them in person?’

Oops, I almost forgot about, my first quiz:

Congratulations. You’ve learned the importance of respecting yourself and drawing appropriate boundaries. You are the king or queen of your own castle and a good example to others of what it means to have a high sense of self-esteem.

Maybe I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Too Soon?.” which asks

Can anything be funny, or are some things off limits?  

I’ve taken my time in responding to this as I found it turned me into a serious, contemplative person and I really don’t like that. Ever. It makes me look back on some of the more poignant situations in my life, the things my dear, darling brain has conveniently wiped from consciousness out of self-preservation. If I was always thinking about the tradgedies I’ve endured my life would be incredibly difficult to lead. So that’s where perspective comes into play…

I am what you may call a person of contradictions, a mixture of complete silliness if something strikes me as funny, but I can easily slip into ‘psychology student mode’ when people need to talk to me & get advice, Or even completely unsolicited advice if it really comes down to it, I’ve learnt through my own experiences that sometimes the situation warrants an air of seriousness and sometimes it means taking the humorous approach and simply running with it.

There are two base emotions which are the parental emotions: Love and Fear. Your motivation is what decides which aspect you’re coming from. I do think one could motivate the other, as in Fear of losing your child because you Love them or Loving someone because you Fear being alone, but when you deconstruct all the emotions you may be experiencing there’s usually the same reason behind it all and I believe it’s self-preservation.

Years of chronic illness have turned me into a bit of a frequent flyer in the Emergency Department, usually at some ungodly hour, and it’s been my mother that has been at the forefront of that kind of operation for going on 30 years now. She has a wicked sense of humour, is very quick-thinking and can drop a doctor with sarcasm at 20 paces… and that’s where I get my sense of humour. When I developed type one diabetes my immune system had a complete and utter breakdown, hence the visits to many specialists, GP’s, hospital wards, and as I said, (our favourite) the emergency, and it takes a toll. As one blogger put in a comment in Mary Gelpi’s hysterical page about dealing with chronic illness (she’s funnier than I am too) 25 Pills a Day:

Bethany writes;

“I’m on a first name basis with all the employees at my local pharmacy, my nightstand is groaning with the number of prescription bottles on it and the CT scan crew at the hospital gave me a frequent customer punch card as a joke”

I always get a dramatic response when in the ED especially, I kind of get Goldstar reservations to the nearest vacant room. Whispers float past me such as “Wow she’s been diabetic for 28 years with poorly-controlled sugar levels and she’s not dead’, or ‘Let’s write down what she doesn’t have it will save time’ or even ‘Triage? That’s for all the normal people! My god man she has every single complication, take a photo before she drops dead on us!’ This can be fairly disheartening when your life is in the hands of medical people who aren’t too sure of what they can do for you and they know you know it. It’s a bit like having a doctor when you’re not having a doctor. I try to prompt them every once and a while when they get stuck but it’s just not the same coming from me really. I can’t actually blame them for their frustration as I’m always complicated to deal with, and if you’re presented with me in an emergency you’re simply not going to get things right straight away. Usually there’s some fairly decent waiting time so Mum and I will play such immortal games as ‘Speculation: How Much Radiation Can One Woman Take?’ or ‘The Most Inappropriate Comment Awards’.

The point is that I had to see the funny side of everything I’d gone through and so did my mum… if we hadn’t I think that getting through this would have been impossible. Yes, it’s a defence mechanism, designed to deflect the emotions of dealing with negative situations and at the moment it’s all I have to protect me. I can’t change the fact that I have diabetes and pretty much all the complications involved, but I can change how I deal with it. A sense of humour is essential to my survival. Plus it helps while away the time